Hebrews 13:5 NKJV Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I struggle with a fear of rejection. Some of that fear came from the fact that most of the people knew me best are gone. The leave came from death but it left a hole in my heart. Or that my mother, for the most part has left me mentally due to dementia. Or that distance has created a gap in relationships because I didn't take time to stay connected in life's busyness.
The feeling started as a child, and well, followed me in to adulthood. I didn't recognize it's roots in childhood, until I really started processing my feelings over the past year. I found in my lion exterior was a child who felt rejected.
As I processed my childhood, I realized the rejection I felt was imagined. The adult circumstances that surrounded me, that I was to young to comprehend, the devil used to build a lie upon. It wasn't rejection, it was God's protection. not only for me, but for others also.
I realized that as a young adult, some of the rejection I felt was if my own making. I had built walls around me, based on my childhood perception. Walls I thought would protect me, but in reality created the very thing I wanted to be protected from.
I also realized, that another part of that rejection was a sanctification process. God removing from me people that did not belong in my life. People that might deter me from the calling and purpose He has for me. Not that the people were bad, or that I was better than, but that we were on different paths that may intersect at a better, more opportune time.
I also realized, and this one was something I knew in my heart from a child, that God did not reject me. In fact, His promise is to never leave me. As I looked around in light of the revelation, I realized I am accepted. I am surrounded by people love me, and those times where I felt rejected had other purpose in my life.
So I chose to leave, intentionally. I leave those false feelings, those wrong perceptions, that rejection. I leave it. The false power it had over my life. I take it back. I leave the negative effects, and take with me a corrected view. I leave rejection here.
Rejection is such a hard feeling to battle (speaking from experience). When the feeling creeps up on me, I always remind myself that our God will never leave me, He will always be my constant companion. Facing the feeling with the truth of God's Word always helps me to overcome it. Visiting from FMF this morning. I think this was my 1st time here, so nice to "meet" you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting. It is so important to know we are not alone. Good to "meet you" too.
DeleteJackie, I'm your neighbor at #FMFparty. So nice to meet you. I'm so impressed at how the Lord has brought you through the process of processing the rejection you feel. Your ability to see the truth surrounding it is a blessing to me. Rejection is so tough, and so often becomes a stronghold in lives. God bless you as you walk in security in Christ.
ReplyDeleteLeah, thank you for dropping by and for being part of FMF. Thank you for the encouragement in the Lord.
ReplyDeleteHi Jackie - It's nice to meet you in today's 5 for 5 facebook thread. Thank you for sharing so honestly. Your story reminds me that Paul urged Christ-followers to press on, fixing our eyes on what is ahead (Philippians 3, I think). Congratulations on completing the 31 days, and may God bless all that you offer to Him in this place! ~ Renee
ReplyDeleteSuch wisdom in your words! Looking forward to reading your other posts in this series.
ReplyDeleteRejection is awful, whether real or perceived. My father dies when I was a young girl and I felt abandoned. I felt like god had taken him from me, and that Gid was also rejecting me. So glad to know that God has not abandoned or rejected me! Also, so glad to hear that you're leaving rejection here. I pray you won't pick it back up in the hard times. Instead, pick up His word and remember that He is here and He will never leave.
ReplyDeleteDenise, losing a parent is very hard. I hope you know how much God loves and treasures you. God never rejects us, we reject Him. Thank you for stopping by.
Delete