Lately I have been feeling like I have made some decisions and missed God completely in the process. I realize maybe what "I wanted" got in the way of what God called me to do.
It takes a lot of God to get my attention. I try to do the right thing, but I realize that the right thing in my eyes is not always God's plan at all. Yet, I keep getting little messages from unexpected places that all lead me back to this one spot where I like missed the boat.
Sometimes as the lesson I hear sticks, it is not as I hear it that I feel like it applies to me. Like reading the John Bevere book, The Bait of Satan, he talks about how sometimes God gives us what we want because we are persistent, not because it is His will for us. He gave the example of the prophet who ran from the queen and God told Him to go, but when the prophet got there and started talking to God, He asked "why are you here?"
Skip ahead a few weeks, I read another message, different author with the same story about the prophet. It makes me start thinking about the other message.
Then I get a call from an old friend directing me back to where I feel I missed the boat. "Talk to God about it" she says, "see what He says."
Then I am in the hotel last week and this commercial comes on for Fidelity. There is a green arrow on the path of his office. He is trying to leave, but the arrow keeps leading him back. He said something that caught my attention, "It keeps leading me back." The girl says "Maybe it is trying to tell you something."
So I am left thinking maybe I missed the boat. Maybe I need to go back. I guess I'll have to walk on water to get there. This time God can decide - if the opportunity presents itself, if the opportunity is offered to me, God will have to lay the path and this time I will look to Him instead of keeping my sight on what I want. This time, I only want what He wants.