I am a pretty independent person. Although I am known to be pretty outspoken, I am a pretty private person. I am also a person who likes to be in control, not of everything, just things that I am responsible for, and I can be pretty anal about things when I lose that control.
As I was listening in Exodus last week, I felt a certain connection with Moses over this need to be in control. Moses had led the people out of Israel, and you can imagine with the large number of people, there were lots of interpersonal problems. Moses was the "go-to person" and was burning the candle so to speak at both ends. His Father-in-Law Jethro comes to visit, and has a little meeting with him about setting boundaries and sharing responsibility (see Exodus 18:17-18).
I can definately relate, and certainly needed to hear that message. It is very easy to think my way is the right way. It is very easy to want to control my environment. It is so easy to be "needed" and to get into helping others. I know I get very possessive over the families and people I work with. I personalize things "my kids", "my family", "my patient". I always have where work is concerned. It is easy for me to try to do it all by myself.
I thought I had learned this lesson, when I started depending on God more, making Him my "go-to God". I have learned to turn to him with the big and small things. I have learned to take things to Him as a first resort not a last resort.
However, as I listened to Jethro's advise to Moses, I realized yet again God speaking to me. Speaking to me about the need to share responsibility. To focus on the big things, and know that other things can be trusted to others. I have to learn to let other people take over and trust that things will still work out for the good of all involved.
This was once again driven home by a 3rd source, an unlikely source for me to get anything from. As I woke up this morning Laurin was watching 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter. The mother there had taken on additional responsibility at work, filling in for the nurse supervisor. It took a toll on her children, with her being gone for so many hours. Then she was offered the position full time, but turned it down because she realized that she had other things in her life that were more important. I think that it is time to make some changes, and let go of things that are not as important in my life as God, my husband, my children, my family. I know this will not be easy for me, but I know God will give me the grace to do it.