Take up your cross

The New Testament is filled with "take up your cross" Scriptures:
Matthew 10:38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 
Mark 8:34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 
Luke 9:23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

We often think of taking up our cross as dying to flesh, but Christ died to the his flesh in the garden when He said "not my will, but your will be done." Not that there was not some more 'dying to will' done as He  carried the cross to Calvary, but that was not the primary reason He took up the cross.

Christ took up the Cross for every sinner.  He carried it for our sake, not His.  He wasn't paying a price for himself, but "He became sin who knew no sin that we might become His righteousness"  We follow Him because of the price He paid for us.  We follow Him because He laid down His life for us.  We follow Him, because He was the only one that could bridge the gap between us and God.

Christ is not calling us to take up our Cross for our sake.  Yes, it is a further process of dying to self, because we have to deny ourselves.  The cross we carry is not for us.   It is for the sake of those who we come in contact with daily.  We are to take up the Cross and follow Christ in laying down our lives in service to others.  We are to be His hands and feet bridging the gap between the lost and God.

It is our cross, because there are people in our sphere of influence that will only be reached for the Kingdom if we lay down our lives in service.  There are people that will only be saved when we take up the cross and bridge that gap for them to see. 

The Sound of Breakthrough

Maybe I am sensitive to all things military because my son left last week for his National Guard AIT training.   Maybe because I have a special place in my heart for our armed services because of their willingness to serve.  Regardless, one thing I really heard from our Advancing the Kingdom conference this past weekend is about the importance of the unified voice of believers.  

Mrs. Rachel Hickson shared the power in a unified noise, sharing stories from the Israelite marching around the walls of Jericho in unison and how the walls came down.  She shared how military soldiers are told to break cadence when they reach a bridge because the resonance that is created has been known to destroy bridges. Resonance is a physics term which according to dictionary.com  is the state of a system in which an abnormally large 
vibration is produced in response to an external stimulus, occurring when the frequency of the stimulus is the same, or nearly the same,as the natural vibration frequency of the system.  
While I have read multiple opinions regarding if this is really scientific, in the Spirit realm, there is something to be said about the impact of unity.  Deut. 32:30 "How could one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight." When we have the unified body of Christ working in a unified purpose there is nothing that can stop the Church.

I can just picture the Church rising up in unity against the enemy.  That as we rise the ground that the enemy has is broken.  That his bridge to our communities is destroyed through the power of Christ in His unified church.

I can see that every weapon that he has formed against us, will not prosper (Isaiah 54:17).  We have allow Satan to use his weapons against the Church for far too long.  It is time that we stop playing defense and take an offensive stance against his weapons.

I can see that every step we take in reclaiming territory for the Kingdom would be His.  "Every place on which the sole of your foot treads shall be yours" Deut. 11:24.  If God would make that promise to two men who obeyed and believed, imagine what He would do for His Church that obeys and believes. 

I can see it is time that the Church be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. That we put on the whole armor of God, that the Church may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. That we stop fighting with each other, and with sinners and realize that (Eph. 6:10 - 18) we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  

It is time that the Church in unity take up the whole armor of God, so that we may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  We must stop backing down, and stand. 

We can stand, having girded our waists with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod our feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace.  We can take the shield of faith with which and quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, the word of God; and take back what we have so freely given to the enemy in our silence and complacency.

The church must once again, in unity start praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.  That is the unified cry that Heaven is waiting for, the glorified church of Christ to stand united in knowledge of whose they are and who they are.

How HOBY impacted my life 2014

Three years ago and amazing youth shared with me about HOBY (Hugh O'Brien Youth Leadership) after completing some volunteer work at Havenwood. As she described her experience and how HOBY impacted her life, I said that sound like something I could get involved with personally.  One of the adults supervising the volunteer work, was a HOBY facilitator and she took me up on that offer.

My first year with HOBY, I was blown away.  I have attended youth leadership conferences with my children and I have attended adult leadership conferences, but this one was different.  The youth engaged and truly developed some leadership skills over the three day weekend.  I might have learned more over those three days than the youth, but I was hooked.  I didn't really keep in contact with the youth, but was impacted by each.  Several of the local youth I ran into during service projects or at their employment.

The second year came, and I signed up to facilitate again.   Knowing more what to expect I jumped right in.  I was pleasantly surprised that two of my youth came back to be JC's (Junior Counselors) that bring energy and excitement between speakers. The second group I kept up with over social media, offering encouragement and seeing them develop further.  I couldn't explain why HOBY meant so much to me, but it became something I look forward to all year.

This year there were a lot of barriers.  The training was held on the day of the biggest fundraiser we have for work.  I have been under a lot of stress personally and at work since that time.  Then I realized that it also fell on the same day as my children's Junior and Senior prom.  After discussing it, both my kids said "go".  I admit I felt a little hurt that they would want me to go, but the night we set up for HOBY, my daughter said "Mom, we know HOBY means a lot to you, we can come and get pictures and share our prom experience, and those youth need you as a facilitator."  After some arranging, the leaders let me schedule for my kids (And their dates and friends) to come up and let me see and get pictures while the HOBY ambassadors were eating. 

Saturday night I realized why HOBY was so important to me.  After a weekend of great speakers and a day of service and talent, the youth came together and shared about their experience.  As I sat there listening to them share, I realized how differently I had been at that age.  Almost to the exact day when I was their age, I was finding out that my future would forever be changed because I was pregnant.  These youth, were learning that their lives would forever be changed because they could be leaders.

They shared of how they wanted to make a difference for single parents, for hurting teenagers, for the homeless.  I realized, I would have never been sitting where they were when I was in 10th grade, because that was not where my thought process was for six more years.  I realized that if I was their age, they would be the kids trying to make a difference in my life, and that even 21 year later - they were making a difference in my life.

They talked about how their faith compelled them to serve and act on needs they see.  I realized, it would be a lot longer in my life before my faith grew beyond my immediate salvation and in to living as Christ lived in a life of service.  For all the negative I hear about today's youth, these youth rose above every one.

Then a young man shared his person journey.  It's not mine to tell, so I won't.  But it moved me (Which is hard to do) to tears.  To hear how this three day weekend (on day 2) had impacted his life so much.  He shared about his volunteer service at Havenwood and said "I don't realize how much I took for granted in my home, when I get home I am going to tell my mom I love her.  I haven't done that for two years."

Then another young lady and a facilitator shared their story of Havenwood volunteering and how they were impacted by the children there.  The youth sharing had no idea that I was the director there, just that there is this big lady at the front of the room who was a blubbering mess!  They shared of the impact of one small action, the difference it made to the child they played with and the parent's face of relaxation when it was over as she had some time for herself.  Because I knew who they were talking about, and that it was all one family it just made that much more of an impact on me.

There were a few more moments in the larger processing group that moved me, but ultimately I know that HOBY 2014 impacted my life because I was able to see youth looking outside themselves.  Many had rough lives, many made sacrifices to be there, but ultimately they are the future of tomorrow.

I feel like I closed a chapter of my life in that room,  The little 10th grade girl found healing and the adult women found hope for the future.

Shadows

Psalms 91:1  He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

The definition of Shadow from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shadow

¹shad·ow

 noun \ˈsha-(ˌ)dō\

: a dark shape that appears on a surface when someone or something moves between the surface and a source of light

: an area of darkness created when a source of light is blocked

Driving yesterday, I was listening to a song, and while I can not remember the song, it talked about  the shadow of the Almighty.  I don't hear God audibly, but I heard Him loud and clear.  In order to abide under the shadow of the Almighty, you have to be exposed to the light.

Shadows happen when the source of light is blocked.  Going through some personal things, I realized that so many times Satan tries to get me to focus on the looming thing making me think that it  is blocking me from God.  Or makes me think the quietness is satan's darkness.  He makes me think that both are powerful forces of his making.

This verse though, reminds me that the shadow I abide under is God's.  That means when things are coming against me, and I feel like I am in the dark, it is actually Him standing in.  He is protecting me from what comes against me. When I abide in Him and dwell in the secret place I can live in the peace of His shadow.

Idols

I have been reading in I Kings and II Kings over the past few weeks. Last night I was captured by a repeated phase "And he did what was right in the sight of the Lord.  However the high places were not taken away, and the people still sacrificed and burned incense on the high places."

These kings did right in the sight of the Lord, but they still held on to ways that were not of God.  I thought about how this reflects the culture that we live in, even in the church.  We do what is right in the sight of the Lord, we read the Word, pray, attend church, give to those in need, tithe.  The things most people see as "Christian."  If we are compared to others, we are doing right, but the truth is , there are areas in our lives that are not in line with what God has for us.  

Those high places offered sacrifices to false god's - god's of greed, success, pleasure, sex, selfishness.  These are the same things that we covet in our society today.  We may not have a golden image that we offer incense and sacrifices too, but we worship these things still the same.  We put these things before God and then blame Him when things do not work out the way that we want them too in those areas.  

It is time that we put God first in every area of our life.  We must stop seeking after things that only bring temporal fulfillment and then leave us feeling empty again.  We must line up every area of our life, those seen by men and those not that are not seen, the high places that are "out of sight, out of mind" and walk in the ways of our Father.

New Creature

2 Corinthians 5:17 (AMP) Therefore if any person is [in grafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!

Sunday Pastor Cass was preaching on Who we are in Christ.  He shared II Corinthians 5:17.  I know the verse I can quote it.  Today it really spoke to me.  He read this from a different version than I am used to that stated that we have been in grafted.  God has become so much a part of us and us a part of him that you can't tell where He begins and where we end.

I have a hard time letting go of the past, in part because much of it was lost with the death of my childhood best friend.  I have not been defining myself as Christ has, because I have been stuck in the past.  I know who I am in Christ, but I have been holding on to "the facts according to Jackie", that no one could possibly understand who I am now because they can't know the full facts of who I was then.  Like people could not appreciate the work God has done because they couldn't understand all that He brought me out of.

When I would share my story at work I could relive that who I was and people could appreciate, at least enough to write a check to support the cause, the transformation that had occurred in my life.

The TRUTH is that I am an new creation.  Yes, I was born again before , but I never defined myself by who God says I am.  I had not truly accepted who Christ said I was.  The past is really gone.  Not because Jennifer died, because I said I was sorry and have changed, but because Christ said so.  I am a new creation.  I am not a better version, God didn't just fix pieces of my life and call it good - I am all new in Him.

Letting Go... A lesson in forgiveness

Many people walk through life with a grudge, waiting for those who hurt them to come and say “I am sorry.”  “I was wrong.”  “I shouldn’t have done _________.”  “Please forgive me.” “Let me make it up to you.”  While these are all great things for someone who has hurt someone to do, they are not necessary for forgiveness to occur. 

As a teenager, I placed myself in to situations that I should have never been.  Looking back, I was searching for something, but that is another chapter.  When I was thirteen years old, I went with a guy whom I met before with other friends.  We drove out to the backside of the lake for “driving lessons.”  Only he had in mind something else, which I did not want to give.  When his sexual advancements did not go as planned, he agreed that we would really go to a place where he could teach me to drive.  He drove us out into a remote area, and raped me.

That day, my innocence was stolen.  He took my virginity, kicking, screaming, and crying “no.”  To add insult to injury, he really did try to give me driving lessons after he raped me.  When he took me back to my house, he threatened me and my family.  He used power and control to keep me quiet, even though every part of me knew what he did was wrong. 

A few weeks later, a close friend commented on the change in my personality.  When I told him what happened, he and another guy beat up the guy that raped me.  My rapist’s friends ganged up against him, and eventually I was empowered enough to confront him.  Maybe not as I should have, but for a 14 year old girl to confront the man who raped her, not once but twice, I learned I could have a voice.

When I finally had the courage to tell someone other than friends, it was someone who should have responded differently.  I went to my school counselor.  She told me it was my fault.  It wasn’t an implied “it’s your fault.”  It was a flat out “It is your fault, look at how you dress.”  I thought back to what I had on that day – skinny jeans and a pink with black paisley long sleeved, over sized, button-up collared, shirt with black laced up tennis boots; certainly no different than most of the teenagers then, or now for that matter.   I took her words to heart and didn't speak of that for some time.  I played those comments in my head for years to come. 

My path had crossed with him one other time.   I again let everyone in the vicinity know what kind of person he was, but also learned that he really was just a teenage boy.  I had thought he was older, but he had given me his license to prove his age, he was two years older.  Later I learned from another friend, of at least three other victims.

As I am writing this, I did a search for his name.  He is still in the area.  There are charges in another state for murder.  He was convicted and sentenced to 15 years on a lesser charge of voluntary manslaughter, but the address for him is not jail, nor has it been 15 years since the sentence.

When my son was born, I came across his name in the arrest section of the paper.  I don’t know why it brought out so much rage and anxiety in me – he was locked up.  With some prompting from my Sunday school teacher. I wrote him a letter.  I poured out forgiveness in that letter.  He had never apologized, and except on the Day of Judgement before God, I doubt he ever will. 

Even though the letter eventually was returned to me, I found a release that day in the power I had given him over me.  I don’t have Post Traumatic Stress about the event. I can talk about it, and then I can let it go.  The guy, the rape, what was stolen, it is all just something that I learned from and use to help others.  I no longer play that counselor’s words in my mind, except to tell people I counsel “I don’t care if you are walking down the street buck naked it does not give anyone the right to touch your body.  Please understand I am not recommending that you walk down the street naked, I am just saying that “no” means “NO” regardless of how you are dressed or acted before you said no.”

Letting go is an important spiritual journey.  I had to let go of what happened, not for him, but for me.  I had to take back the power he tried to steal. I had to release the words spoken over me.  Those words could have destroyed me, instead I allowed them to propel me into a career to help others heal from others actions.  Letting go is good for the soul.