In Spite of Me

I have been doing a little review the past few weeks (okay months, it just sounds like a long time), as I try to figure out this thing called life. You know - where have I been, where am I going, a lot of soul searching. I am big on writing, and have a lot of prayer journals, so I have been looking over those and the things God has done.

I came across a line that struck me at the core, because while I see a lot of changes, I read a line that is something God has been really working in me a lot on lately. It said "I don't know which direction my life is going, it doesn't seem to be following the plans I made." That was back in 2004 - and all these years later He is still trying to get through the same message.

I realized back in October of this year, that sometimes, okay pretty often, God moves IN SPITE OF ME. I have this "perfect plan" all laid out, and think it is going to bring about the end result that I want. Well, most of the times the plan either doesn't work out or the end result is different than I planned.

It always works out - most things hardly ever stay the same - but it works out in God's plan, not mine. Lucky for me, every now and then, my plan lines up with His even though I often forget to ask.

"My Plans" are nothing unless they are "God's plans". If they work out the way I want, it is IN SPITE OF ME, not because of me. If they work out at all for the result I want, it is IN SPITE OF ME, not because of me. I have to take time to stop, ask, and listen to His Plans instead of trying to convince Him my plans are better.

It is a sobering idea how dependent we are on God, but when we will depend on Him, then it will all work out. I think back to all the requests, and how God moved in each situation I prayed for. When I look at specific requests, sometimes He moved like I asked, but other times, He moved in such a way that I would have never thought to ask and things turned out better. And other times, I would just say "Your will be done." and those things were resolved quickly and with the best possible outcome.

I am saddened to think that even though I was asking (superficially), for God to change me, that I still clung to my own plans all this time. When it finally hit me, back in October, I still have been slow to take those steps of faith, and follow the plans I know are before me.

I know that I want God to take the reigns, in every area of my life, I want to let go of my plans and start to see the plans He has, in spite of me, that I can help fulfill. I don't want to keep wasting time trying to do things my way, when God's plans are so much higher, efficent, effective, and perfect. I don't want to waste any more time forcing God to do things IN SPITE OF ME instead of through me as a willing servant of His will!

Confirmation

Okay, so I just love it when God laughs at me - just had to say that because I am laughing at myself right now. I knew what I wanted to to say but used the word CONFORMATION instead of confirmation as I started to type this and then had that verse come to my mind about be not conformed to this world, but be transformed - and I couldn't figure out how that fit with the confirmation thought that is going through my mind. I guess you had to be there. Anyway!

I just love it when God confirms things, things that aren't spoken to others, and then confirmed through unlikely sources! I have so many things burning inside of me and just feel like it is time for them to come out! I just sometimes feel overwhelmed by things, but then God sends someone to say "HELLO - JUST LISTEN TO ME" You know you do your part, I'll do my part. I hear preachers like Joyce Meyers say that all the time, but when it comes from an unlikely source, and just out of the blue it is like God is saying "HERE'S YOUR SIGN"

I don't think that Satan is all-knowing. I don't think that he can read people's minds, but I know God knows everything! So I love it when things are spoken aloud by people who do not know what they are confirming!

God Sized Dreams

So I have always been a dreamer. As a kid, I remember the church I attended doing the drama of Joseph's life called "Dreamer". To this day I still know many of the songs, even though I hardly remember anything else about that time in my life.

Anyway, so I am a dreamer. I have a dream - it is to reach the world outside of me. Living in a small community, people have told me that I have "big city ideas," but really I just serve a God who can do big things, even in a small area. I want to see my community united, on fire, in service for God. I don't have room for people who want to quench this dream in my heart. I had it before I got here and it just continues to get clearer and clearer as the years go by, and I think that now is the time to start putting it into action.

Yesterday I was reading the book again "I'm the Christian the Devil Warned You About" by Mario Murillo and realized that I gotta dream bigger. I mean I dream the big dreams, but sometimes I fail to turn those dreams into reality - because it seems to much. Sometimes I think, I have no clue where to start (Yes, God forbid I listen to the One who gave me the idea).

Yet, now I realize if I can really do it all, I mean if I can see the plan laid out before me - then it is not really a God thing. God thinks so much bigger than I do. Nothing is impossible with God, and I am sure He gets a big laugh at the things that I think are "To big" saying "If you only know what I want to do through you." I mean if I can do it in my own power, I am not thinking big enough.

Instead I must take the step that is laid before me and act in faith. Maybe some times I will miss God, but what if I miss Him because I didn't step out in faith? I don't have the connections I need - but God does. I do have the passion and the fire inside of me to make it happen if I will just ignite with God!

So here is to putting my dreams in God's hands and watching them grow!!!!

Job Lessons

I have to say I never thought of this before, until last night as I prepared for children's church. I have read Job's story before, heard it many a times, but never really thought about it other than in the realm of trials.

Job is someone who had a strong foundation, but not very wise friends. Here is this guy who has everything, large family, successful business, and great riches. Yet, his greatest wealth came from his unshakable foundation in God.

Job was rooted in God. He knew regardless of what came his way, that God was the one thing that he had to hold on to. I mean this guy lost everything - save a complaining wife and four servants who brought him terrible news, and four foolish friends, in the course of just a few hours.

Yea, he mourned for them, for what he lost, but he held tight to God.

Then as if loosing everything wasn't enough, he lost his health. And yet, he stayed true to God - despite advise from his foolish friends and "lovely" wife.

It just goes to show how important it is for each of us, in the day that we are living, to stay grounded in God. Not just to go to church and listen to a preacher, but to truly seek God - reading His Word, praying, being in a daily, intimate fellowship with Him, lead by His Spirit. Because the trials will come, we will loose things and people that are important to us, we will be tested, but God will never leave us or forsake us. Frankly, we are as close to God as we want to be for His word say "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."

The second thing that really stood out to me is how important our friends are. Job lost everything, and his friends are saying "Well, it is your fault." "You must have done something wrong." "Repent." Yet God was there talking to Satan saying "He is upright and faithful in all."   Perfect, but "If God be for us, who can be against us?"

It is important that we chose our friends wisely. They need to be people who will lift us up, not tear us down. We need people who will pray for us when we have a problem, not blame us and try to keep us in our fallen problematic state. I am not saying that we should turn our back on those people, but we need to make sure we are turning to God, and to the right type of people when we are hurting.

Yes, our actions and even motives need to be checked, but it needs to be from a Godly perspective, not a blame game free-for-all. We have to be willing to humble ourselves to the truth, and make the changes needed, but we also need to be encouraged so we can do those things.

So it is important to be grounded in Christ, with a foundation built upon the Rock, and have Godly friends that we can go to in times of need.

It's NOT worth comparing

Last night I was reading a book "I'm the Christian the devil warned you about" by Mario Murillo. It just seems to really speak to me about things that I am trying to figure out right now. And while the book is really good, I just was hit in the face with this verse. WOW what a revelation!!!!!..:

Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (NIV)

So many times Satan wants us to be discouraged by our current circumstances. If he can get us focused on the negative aspects of life, we take our minds off God. We loose our peace, we get grumpy and depressed, we try to take things in our own hands, but everything that we go through (right now), is nothing compared to the glory that God will reveal in us. Satan is so scared that God's glory will be revealed in true Christians. When that happens his kingdom will shrink, so he comes against us so we get sidetracked and never reach the level that God wants us too.

So as you face your problems today, just remind Satan that he is not going to get you down by circumstances, what you are going through right now is temporal, God will bring you through it, and you will be stronger because of it. Remind him that, he is the one who has already been defeated.