I am ending this 2008 year with great hopes for the new year. You see at the beginning of the year I visited my cousin's church. I don't remember why I was there, just that I was over taken by emotion seeing my cousin, her spouse, their three children, their significant others, and their children all sitting there together. Just the year before I remember visiting with my cousin, and she wanted to go to the church, but didn't want to go alone. It was such a blessing to witness that, and I started my prayer that I too would see this in my own family.
Today, I got to experience that first hand. Of course, we were late so we were kind of spread out, but Tim was there with me, at my side. Billie Jo was in the kid class - along with Katie (My niece) and Malachi (Tim's nephew). Dallas was behind us with Shane (my nephew). Laurin was sitting next to Garrit (My nephew) and my mom was sitting next to my sister. And an added bonus, my adopted spiritual kid (Still waiting to see him adopted into God's family) was sitting next to Tim.
So I admit, Tim didn't come completely of his own free will - there were ten of us and while Laurin can drive, she can only legally drive with one person under the age of nineteen outside her immediate family. Mom doesn't drive very far, so that ruled her out - which just left Tim. But he was there! It is an answered prayer - especially since it was not one of those Christmas programs or Easter programs which he has to attend.
PS - thanks Christine Caine for the advice during the 2007 Joyce Meyer's Women;s Conference - it worked!!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
temptation
I was reading in Matthew Chapter 4 about the Temptation of Christ last night and saw things with a fresh perspective. I mean most of us know about the temptation, but what the Word of God reveals is just really enlightening.
First I noticed that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Even in temptation He was led by the Spirit; He didn't just waltz into a bad situation He was following God's will, most surely to be an example for us. If Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit, even in temptation how much more do we need to be led of the Holy Spirit?
Second, I read in verse two He was hungry. I know Jesus was fasting for forty days, but I always think of Him on this earth as a super human deity, not a mere man sent here to walk out life just as we do.
Satan tempted him first in the physical. Your hungry, meet the need. So many times we give in to the temptation to compromise for worldly things - maybe to meet our basic needs or just to meet physical needs in general. We give in to the temptation. Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. He wasn't saying "I'm not hungry," just that his first command is to obey every word from God; Jesus knew that was His purpose in the wilderness that day. He obeyed His Father.
Then I noticed that in the second temptation the devil took him. I still believe that the Holy Spirit was with him guiding and directing him, just this time God gave Satan permission to led Jesus into the temptation. I think a lot of times instead of following the Holy Spirit, or being led into temptation, we put our selves into a tempting situation knowing it is a problem, plugging our ears, heart and soul to the Spirit's prompting of "STAY AWAY" and Satan just follows along coming in the door we opened for him, at which time He has free reign.
The second temptation Satan tempted Jesus to prove who he was. So many times we compromise who we are to prove something to someone. The fact is we are who God says we are. We can put that to the test, it will always come out true. However, as Jesus answered, we can not test God. I think that is one of the reasons that Shadrach, Meshach and Abendigo made the statement "Even if God doesn't." They believed their God would save them, but even if He didn't they would still follow Him. We do not need to prove who we are; we are everything God says about us. He can not lie, so it is true - no need to prove it, just live it. T.D. Jakes made a great comment - we can see a black box and if we say it is green, it doesn't change the fact that it is really black. If God says that same box is white - it will be white. That is how we must be; we must accept the reality of what God speaks about us in His word. He can not lie, He is just a gentleman and waits for us to let go of the lies we have told ourselves about who we are so He can reveal in us what we already are.
The last temptation was for power and control. Satan wanted the same thing that day on that mountain that he wanted when he was kicked out of Heaven - to be worshipped. He was even willing to give up something that wasn't his to give to get it.
How many times do we end up worshipping something that isn't even "all that?" We put the guy, the job, the celebrity, the church, the newest toy on a pedestal we think if we devote all our time and energy to it that it will be all we ever hoped and dreamed for. But the fact is their all tools of Satan because we are to 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only. Satan sidetracks us even with church to keep us from worshipping God and serving Him.
Another thought that came to me is "serving Him." How do we do that? The Bible says that if we have done it to the least of these we have done it unto Him. So we serve others. We serve those less fortunate, more fortunate, and everything in between.
When Jesus was done being tempted the Bible says "Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him." Eventually when we prove that we can stand up to the temptation it will leave us. Then we can be ministered to by the angels around us. Sure Satan will come back, but we just have to remember Greater is He who is in me, than he that is in the world.
First I noticed that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Even in temptation He was led by the Spirit; He didn't just waltz into a bad situation He was following God's will, most surely to be an example for us. If Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit, even in temptation how much more do we need to be led of the Holy Spirit?
Second, I read in verse two He was hungry. I know Jesus was fasting for forty days, but I always think of Him on this earth as a super human deity, not a mere man sent here to walk out life just as we do.
Satan tempted him first in the physical. Your hungry, meet the need. So many times we give in to the temptation to compromise for worldly things - maybe to meet our basic needs or just to meet physical needs in general. We give in to the temptation. Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. He wasn't saying "I'm not hungry," just that his first command is to obey every word from God; Jesus knew that was His purpose in the wilderness that day. He obeyed His Father.
Then I noticed that in the second temptation the devil took him. I still believe that the Holy Spirit was with him guiding and directing him, just this time God gave Satan permission to led Jesus into the temptation. I think a lot of times instead of following the Holy Spirit, or being led into temptation, we put our selves into a tempting situation knowing it is a problem, plugging our ears, heart and soul to the Spirit's prompting of "STAY AWAY" and Satan just follows along coming in the door we opened for him, at which time He has free reign.
The second temptation Satan tempted Jesus to prove who he was. So many times we compromise who we are to prove something to someone. The fact is we are who God says we are. We can put that to the test, it will always come out true. However, as Jesus answered, we can not test God. I think that is one of the reasons that Shadrach, Meshach and Abendigo made the statement "Even if God doesn't." They believed their God would save them, but even if He didn't they would still follow Him. We do not need to prove who we are; we are everything God says about us. He can not lie, so it is true - no need to prove it, just live it. T.D. Jakes made a great comment - we can see a black box and if we say it is green, it doesn't change the fact that it is really black. If God says that same box is white - it will be white. That is how we must be; we must accept the reality of what God speaks about us in His word. He can not lie, He is just a gentleman and waits for us to let go of the lies we have told ourselves about who we are so He can reveal in us what we already are.
The last temptation was for power and control. Satan wanted the same thing that day on that mountain that he wanted when he was kicked out of Heaven - to be worshipped. He was even willing to give up something that wasn't his to give to get it.
How many times do we end up worshipping something that isn't even "all that?" We put the guy, the job, the celebrity, the church, the newest toy on a pedestal we think if we devote all our time and energy to it that it will be all we ever hoped and dreamed for. But the fact is their all tools of Satan because we are to 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only. Satan sidetracks us even with church to keep us from worshipping God and serving Him.
Another thought that came to me is "serving Him." How do we do that? The Bible says that if we have done it to the least of these we have done it unto Him. So we serve others. We serve those less fortunate, more fortunate, and everything in between.
When Jesus was done being tempted the Bible says "Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him." Eventually when we prove that we can stand up to the temptation it will leave us. Then we can be ministered to by the angels around us. Sure Satan will come back, but we just have to remember Greater is He who is in me, than he that is in the world.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Change your Perspectives
Have you even been on the mountain one moment and then felt like you were in the valley?
First you are on the mountain looking around and everything just looks great. Not that everything is perfect, but you just have that clear perspective looking out and can see the plain before you. Your perspective is one looking out and because things are in front of you, they seem possible and attainable. You are on top of the world.
Then without notice, you are in the valley. You feel like you couldn't go any lower. It feels like the world is coming down around you. Walls are surrounding you on every side, and you have an overwhelming sense that nothing will ever work out for you.
But if you stop to think about it, you realize that you never moved. Things changed because you allowed Satan to get in and change your perspective. You are still standing the same place that you were the day before. The only thing that has changed is your perspective.
You allowed Satan to draw your focus to what is surrounding you, the walls that surround where you are. He has drawn your focus to the place straight ahead or maybe behind you, the mountainous walls. He has chosen to get you to focus there, because he knows it will discourage you and stop you in your tracks.
But then you look up. You see that you are not in the valley, but on the mountain peak, right where you were before. You look up to see God on the next peak up desperately trying to get your attention "Hey, look up here" He shouts. His hand outreached, waiting for you to look up and in faith take His hand, to reach the next level in your journey.
At that point you have a critical decision to make - do you allow Satan to keep your focus on the mountainous walls surrounding you so that you feel overwhelmed or do you tell Satan to get under your feet and use him as a ladder to reach up to God's outstretched hand to reach the next peak in the path God has for you.
Change your perspective. Start looking up, no matter what you think you see before you, God will always bring you up to the next level if you reach up in faith!
Wrote Dec. 2, 2008
First you are on the mountain looking around and everything just looks great. Not that everything is perfect, but you just have that clear perspective looking out and can see the plain before you. Your perspective is one looking out and because things are in front of you, they seem possible and attainable. You are on top of the world.
Then without notice, you are in the valley. You feel like you couldn't go any lower. It feels like the world is coming down around you. Walls are surrounding you on every side, and you have an overwhelming sense that nothing will ever work out for you.
But if you stop to think about it, you realize that you never moved. Things changed because you allowed Satan to get in and change your perspective. You are still standing the same place that you were the day before. The only thing that has changed is your perspective.
You allowed Satan to draw your focus to what is surrounding you, the walls that surround where you are. He has drawn your focus to the place straight ahead or maybe behind you, the mountainous walls. He has chosen to get you to focus there, because he knows it will discourage you and stop you in your tracks.
But then you look up. You see that you are not in the valley, but on the mountain peak, right where you were before. You look up to see God on the next peak up desperately trying to get your attention "Hey, look up here" He shouts. His hand outreached, waiting for you to look up and in faith take His hand, to reach the next level in your journey.
At that point you have a critical decision to make - do you allow Satan to keep your focus on the mountainous walls surrounding you so that you feel overwhelmed or do you tell Satan to get under your feet and use him as a ladder to reach up to God's outstretched hand to reach the next peak in the path God has for you.
Change your perspective. Start looking up, no matter what you think you see before you, God will always bring you up to the next level if you reach up in faith!
Wrote Dec. 2, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
In Spite of Me
I have been doing a little review the past few weeks (okay months, it just sounds like a long time), as I try to figure out this thing called life. You know - where have I been, where am I going, a lot of soul searching. I am big on writing, and have a lot of prayer journals, so I have been looking over those and the things God has done.
I came across a line that struck me at the core, because while I see a lot of changes, I read a line that is something God has been really working in me a lot on lately. It said "I don't know which direction my life is going, it doesn't seem to be following the plans I made." That was back in 2004 - and all these years later He is still trying to get through the same message.
I realized back in October of this year, that sometimes, okay pretty often, God moves IN SPITE OF ME. I have this "perfect plan" all laid out, and think it is going to bring about the end result that I want. Well, most of the times the plan either doesn't work out or the end result is different than I planned.
It always works out - most things hardly ever stay the same - but it works out in God's plan, not mine. Lucky for me, every now and then, my plan lines up with His even though I often forget to ask.
"My Plans" are nothing unless they are "God's plans". If they work out the way I want, it is IN SPITE OF ME, not because of me. If they work out at all for the result I want, it is IN SPITE OF ME, not because of me. I have to take time to stop, ask, and listen to His Plans instead of trying to convince Him my plans are better.
It is a sobering idea how dependent we are on God, but when we will depend on Him, then it will all work out. I think back to all the requests, and how God moved in each situation I prayed for. When I look at specific requests, sometimes He moved like I asked, but other times, He moved in such a way that I would have never thought to ask and things turned out better. And other times, I would just say "Your will be done." and those things were resolved quickly and with the best possible outcome.
I am saddened to think that even though I was asking (superficially), for God to change me, that I still clung to my own plans all this time. When it finally hit me, back in October, I still have been slow to take those steps of faith, and follow the plans I know are before me.
I know that I want God to take the reigns, in every area of my life, I want to let go of my plans and start to see the plans He has, in spite of me, that I can help fulfill. I don't want to keep wasting time trying to do things my way, when God's plans are so much higher, efficent, effective, and perfect. I don't want to waste any more time forcing God to do things IN SPITE OF ME instead of through me as a willing servant of His will!
I came across a line that struck me at the core, because while I see a lot of changes, I read a line that is something God has been really working in me a lot on lately. It said "I don't know which direction my life is going, it doesn't seem to be following the plans I made." That was back in 2004 - and all these years later He is still trying to get through the same message.
I realized back in October of this year, that sometimes, okay pretty often, God moves IN SPITE OF ME. I have this "perfect plan" all laid out, and think it is going to bring about the end result that I want. Well, most of the times the plan either doesn't work out or the end result is different than I planned.
It always works out - most things hardly ever stay the same - but it works out in God's plan, not mine. Lucky for me, every now and then, my plan lines up with His even though I often forget to ask.
"My Plans" are nothing unless they are "God's plans". If they work out the way I want, it is IN SPITE OF ME, not because of me. If they work out at all for the result I want, it is IN SPITE OF ME, not because of me. I have to take time to stop, ask, and listen to His Plans instead of trying to convince Him my plans are better.
It is a sobering idea how dependent we are on God, but when we will depend on Him, then it will all work out. I think back to all the requests, and how God moved in each situation I prayed for. When I look at specific requests, sometimes He moved like I asked, but other times, He moved in such a way that I would have never thought to ask and things turned out better. And other times, I would just say "Your will be done." and those things were resolved quickly and with the best possible outcome.
I am saddened to think that even though I was asking (superficially), for God to change me, that I still clung to my own plans all this time. When it finally hit me, back in October, I still have been slow to take those steps of faith, and follow the plans I know are before me.
I know that I want God to take the reigns, in every area of my life, I want to let go of my plans and start to see the plans He has, in spite of me, that I can help fulfill. I don't want to keep wasting time trying to do things my way, when God's plans are so much higher, efficent, effective, and perfect. I don't want to waste any more time forcing God to do things IN SPITE OF ME instead of through me as a willing servant of His will!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Confirmation
Okay, so I just love it when God laughs at me - just had to say that because I am laughing at myself right now. I knew what I wanted to to say but used the word CONFORMATION instead of confirmation as I started to type this and then had that verse come to my mind about be not conformed to this world, but be transformed - and I couldn't figure out how that fit with the confirmation thought that is going through my mind. I guess you had to be there. Anyway!
I just love it when God confirms things, things that aren't spoken to others, and then confirmed through unlikely sources! I have so many things burning inside of me and just feel like it is time for them to come out! I just sometimes feel overwhelmed by things, but then God sends someone to say "HELLO - JUST LISTEN TO ME" You know you do your part, I'll do my part. I hear preachers like Joyce Meyers say that all the time, but when it comes from an unlikely source, and just out of the blue it is like God is saying "HERE'S YOUR SIGN"
I don't think that Satan is all-knowing. I don't think that he can read people's minds, but I know God knows everything! So I love it when things are spoken aloud by people who do not know what they are confirming!
I just love it when God confirms things, things that aren't spoken to others, and then confirmed through unlikely sources! I have so many things burning inside of me and just feel like it is time for them to come out! I just sometimes feel overwhelmed by things, but then God sends someone to say "HELLO - JUST LISTEN TO ME" You know you do your part, I'll do my part. I hear preachers like Joyce Meyers say that all the time, but when it comes from an unlikely source, and just out of the blue it is like God is saying "HERE'S YOUR SIGN"
I don't think that Satan is all-knowing. I don't think that he can read people's minds, but I know God knows everything! So I love it when things are spoken aloud by people who do not know what they are confirming!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
God Sized Dreams
So I have always been a dreamer. As a kid, I remember the church I attended doing the drama of Joseph's life called "Dreamer". To this day I still know many of the songs, even though I hardly remember anything else about that time in my life.
Anyway, so I am a dreamer. I have a dream - it is to reach the world outside of me. Living in a small community, people have told me that I have "big city ideas," but really I just serve a God who can do big things, even in a small area. I want to see my community united, on fire, in service for God. I don't have room for people who want to quench this dream in my heart. I had it before I got here and it just continues to get clearer and clearer as the years go by, and I think that now is the time to start putting it into action.
Yesterday I was reading the book again "I'm the Christian the Devil Warned You About" by Mario Murillo and realized that I gotta dream bigger. I mean I dream the big dreams, but sometimes I fail to turn those dreams into reality - because it seems to much. Sometimes I think, I have no clue where to start (Yes, God forbid I listen to the One who gave me the idea).
Yet, now I realize if I can really do it all, I mean if I can see the plan laid out before me - then it is not really a God thing. God thinks so much bigger than I do. Nothing is impossible with God, and I am sure He gets a big laugh at the things that I think are "To big" saying "If you only know what I want to do through you." I mean if I can do it in my own power, I am not thinking big enough.
Instead I must take the step that is laid before me and act in faith. Maybe some times I will miss God, but what if I miss Him because I didn't step out in faith? I don't have the connections I need - but God does. I do have the passion and the fire inside of me to make it happen if I will just ignite with God!
So here is to putting my dreams in God's hands and watching them grow!!!!
Anyway, so I am a dreamer. I have a dream - it is to reach the world outside of me. Living in a small community, people have told me that I have "big city ideas," but really I just serve a God who can do big things, even in a small area. I want to see my community united, on fire, in service for God. I don't have room for people who want to quench this dream in my heart. I had it before I got here and it just continues to get clearer and clearer as the years go by, and I think that now is the time to start putting it into action.
Yesterday I was reading the book again "I'm the Christian the Devil Warned You About" by Mario Murillo and realized that I gotta dream bigger. I mean I dream the big dreams, but sometimes I fail to turn those dreams into reality - because it seems to much. Sometimes I think, I have no clue where to start (Yes, God forbid I listen to the One who gave me the idea).
Yet, now I realize if I can really do it all, I mean if I can see the plan laid out before me - then it is not really a God thing. God thinks so much bigger than I do. Nothing is impossible with God, and I am sure He gets a big laugh at the things that I think are "To big" saying "If you only know what I want to do through you." I mean if I can do it in my own power, I am not thinking big enough.
Instead I must take the step that is laid before me and act in faith. Maybe some times I will miss God, but what if I miss Him because I didn't step out in faith? I don't have the connections I need - but God does. I do have the passion and the fire inside of me to make it happen if I will just ignite with God!
So here is to putting my dreams in God's hands and watching them grow!!!!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Job Lessons
I have to say I never thought of this before, until last night as I prepared for children's church. I have read Job's story before, heard it many a times, but never really thought about it other than in the realm of trials.
Job is someone who had a strong foundation, but not very wise friends. Here is this guy who has everything, large family, successful business, and great riches. Yet, his greatest wealth came from his unshakable foundation in God.
Job was rooted in God. He knew regardless of what came his way, that God was the one thing that he had to hold on to. I mean this guy lost everything - save a complaining wife and four servants who brought him terrible news, and four foolish friends, in the course of just a few hours.
Yea, he mourned for them, for what he lost, but he held tight to God.
Then as if loosing everything wasn't enough, he lost his health. And yet, he stayed true to God - despite advise from his foolish friends and "lovely" wife.
It just goes to show how important it is for each of us, in the day that we are living, to stay grounded in God. Not just to go to church and listen to a preacher, but to truly seek God - reading His Word, praying, being in a daily, intimate fellowship with Him, lead by His Spirit. Because the trials will come, we will loose things and people that are important to us, we will be tested, but God will never leave us or forsake us. Frankly, we are as close to God as we want to be for His word say "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."
The second thing that really stood out to me is how important our friends are. Job lost everything, and his friends are saying "Well, it is your fault." "You must have done something wrong." "Repent." Yet God was there talking to Satan saying "He is upright and faithful in all." Perfect, but "If God be for us, who can be against us?"
It is important that we chose our friends wisely. They need to be people who will lift us up, not tear us down. We need people who will pray for us when we have a problem, not blame us and try to keep us in our fallen problematic state. I am not saying that we should turn our back on those people, but we need to make sure we are turning to God, and to the right type of people when we are hurting.
Yes, our actions and even motives need to be checked, but it needs to be from a Godly perspective, not a blame game free-for-all. We have to be willing to humble ourselves to the truth, and make the changes needed, but we also need to be encouraged so we can do those things.
So it is important to be grounded in Christ, with a foundation built upon the Rock, and have Godly friends that we can go to in times of need.
Job is someone who had a strong foundation, but not very wise friends. Here is this guy who has everything, large family, successful business, and great riches. Yet, his greatest wealth came from his unshakable foundation in God.
Job was rooted in God. He knew regardless of what came his way, that God was the one thing that he had to hold on to. I mean this guy lost everything - save a complaining wife and four servants who brought him terrible news, and four foolish friends, in the course of just a few hours.
Yea, he mourned for them, for what he lost, but he held tight to God.
Then as if loosing everything wasn't enough, he lost his health. And yet, he stayed true to God - despite advise from his foolish friends and "lovely" wife.
It just goes to show how important it is for each of us, in the day that we are living, to stay grounded in God. Not just to go to church and listen to a preacher, but to truly seek God - reading His Word, praying, being in a daily, intimate fellowship with Him, lead by His Spirit. Because the trials will come, we will loose things and people that are important to us, we will be tested, but God will never leave us or forsake us. Frankly, we are as close to God as we want to be for His word say "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."
The second thing that really stood out to me is how important our friends are. Job lost everything, and his friends are saying "Well, it is your fault." "You must have done something wrong." "Repent." Yet God was there talking to Satan saying "He is upright and faithful in all." Perfect, but "If God be for us, who can be against us?"
It is important that we chose our friends wisely. They need to be people who will lift us up, not tear us down. We need people who will pray for us when we have a problem, not blame us and try to keep us in our fallen problematic state. I am not saying that we should turn our back on those people, but we need to make sure we are turning to God, and to the right type of people when we are hurting.
Yes, our actions and even motives need to be checked, but it needs to be from a Godly perspective, not a blame game free-for-all. We have to be willing to humble ourselves to the truth, and make the changes needed, but we also need to be encouraged so we can do those things.
So it is important to be grounded in Christ, with a foundation built upon the Rock, and have Godly friends that we can go to in times of need.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
It's NOT worth comparing
Last night I was reading a book "I'm the Christian the devil warned you about" by Mario Murillo. It just seems to really speak to me about things that I am trying to figure out right now. And while the book is really good, I just was hit in the face with this verse. WOW what a revelation!!!!!..:
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (NIV)
So many times Satan wants us to be discouraged by our current circumstances. If he can get us focused on the negative aspects of life, we take our minds off God. We loose our peace, we get grumpy and depressed, we try to take things in our own hands, but everything that we go through (right now), is nothing compared to the glory that God will reveal in us. Satan is so scared that God's glory will be revealed in true Christians. When that happens his kingdom will shrink, so he comes against us so we get sidetracked and never reach the level that God wants us too.
So as you face your problems today, just remind Satan that he is not going to get you down by circumstances, what you are going through right now is temporal, God will bring you through it, and you will be stronger because of it. Remind him that, he is the one who has already been defeated.
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (NIV)
So many times Satan wants us to be discouraged by our current circumstances. If he can get us focused on the negative aspects of life, we take our minds off God. We loose our peace, we get grumpy and depressed, we try to take things in our own hands, but everything that we go through (right now), is nothing compared to the glory that God will reveal in us. Satan is so scared that God's glory will be revealed in true Christians. When that happens his kingdom will shrink, so he comes against us so we get sidetracked and never reach the level that God wants us too.
So as you face your problems today, just remind Satan that he is not going to get you down by circumstances, what you are going through right now is temporal, God will bring you through it, and you will be stronger because of it. Remind him that, he is the one who has already been defeated.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What I am Called to Change
There are many things I see in my line of work that make most people cringe and believe the worst about our society. To me, I try to find the good in people and help people to find the good in themselves and to work through problems that they may be facing.
I have found that I can work with most anyone, although I prefer to work with people who can admit what they are doing is wrong and want the help. I know sometimes that they don't start out that way, but until they get to the point that under no circumstance are they willing to change - I feel like I can help them. I feel sorry for those people who have help but will not utilize it to overcome the struggles thy are facing.
There is one thing that makes my blood boil. Honestly seeing things from this side of the fence I realize it a lot more than I did when I was part of "the system." TD Jakes once said "What upsets you the most, is what you are called to change." Well, he said that at a time in my work career that I was struggling with the injustice in the system.
I have always thought the system is broken. I was able to work within it to bring about change, with a hope of one day fixing the whole system. I am now starting to see that I must fix things from outside in if it is ever to truly help people.
At the time I heard T.D. Jakes say that, I was so upset I could only see red. I watched as the system allowed a non-repentant child molester walk away on a technicality after four years of holding a family hostage awaiting a trial. I had spent the two weeks before with the children and family, ignoring my own, because they were terrified of this man. I tried to explain how the system had failed.
My anger at the time, was not towards the system - for it, I made excuses. My anger was towards this man, I didn't even know, for the scars he left in this child's life and the fear this family had of him. I spent many a day on my knees in prayer wondering "How could God let this happen?" and asking God to forgive me for the angry, vindictive thoughts I was having towards this man.
As time passed and with much prayer on my behalf and by me, I was able to let go of my anger towards this man, who I still had never met. I was able to go on with my life, although I am not sure the family has been able to truly go on living theirs as they should be able to do.
Fast forward a year, and again I am faced with the same situation. Only this time, there is a face to the name and I can't blame the non-repentant molester because it was a court ruling, not a technicality that is going to allow him to go free. The "system" made a conscious decision to offer a callback on a nine year sentence, despite evidence, despite the availability of testimony, they made the decision. It wasn't some guy who got lucky or outsmarted the system, the system failed. It failed these children, it failed this family, and it failed all future victims.
The person who robbed these two children, and possibly two other children gets a slap on the wrist of county jail, 120 day in prison and a five year probation. Guess what there were five years between the allegations of the first child and the next two. Now he will have to wait five more for his next.
I am sorry, but there is no call for that. There is nothing that could have been said or done by this "predator" as he was called by the presentence investigation report in the one hundred and twenty day "SHOCK INCARCERATION" to warrant a release with probation. The only thing SHOCKING about this INCARCERATION was that is wasn't the nine years that was promised to the family.
I want to yell and scream from the roof tops to make someone take notice. However, I know in small town politics that will only cause a grudge that will be taken out on anyone that I come into contact with. Instead, I must once again separate myself farther away from the system so that I can fight for the people that most need the help. The silent voices of the children who are effected by these shocking judgements, where families and victims are promised one thing, and then something completely different is carried out.
I have found that I can work with most anyone, although I prefer to work with people who can admit what they are doing is wrong and want the help. I know sometimes that they don't start out that way, but until they get to the point that under no circumstance are they willing to change - I feel like I can help them. I feel sorry for those people who have help but will not utilize it to overcome the struggles thy are facing.
There is one thing that makes my blood boil. Honestly seeing things from this side of the fence I realize it a lot more than I did when I was part of "the system." TD Jakes once said "What upsets you the most, is what you are called to change." Well, he said that at a time in my work career that I was struggling with the injustice in the system.
I have always thought the system is broken. I was able to work within it to bring about change, with a hope of one day fixing the whole system. I am now starting to see that I must fix things from outside in if it is ever to truly help people.
At the time I heard T.D. Jakes say that, I was so upset I could only see red. I watched as the system allowed a non-repentant child molester walk away on a technicality after four years of holding a family hostage awaiting a trial. I had spent the two weeks before with the children and family, ignoring my own, because they were terrified of this man. I tried to explain how the system had failed.
My anger at the time, was not towards the system - for it, I made excuses. My anger was towards this man, I didn't even know, for the scars he left in this child's life and the fear this family had of him. I spent many a day on my knees in prayer wondering "How could God let this happen?" and asking God to forgive me for the angry, vindictive thoughts I was having towards this man.
As time passed and with much prayer on my behalf and by me, I was able to let go of my anger towards this man, who I still had never met. I was able to go on with my life, although I am not sure the family has been able to truly go on living theirs as they should be able to do.
Fast forward a year, and again I am faced with the same situation. Only this time, there is a face to the name and I can't blame the non-repentant molester because it was a court ruling, not a technicality that is going to allow him to go free. The "system" made a conscious decision to offer a callback on a nine year sentence, despite evidence, despite the availability of testimony, they made the decision. It wasn't some guy who got lucky or outsmarted the system, the system failed. It failed these children, it failed this family, and it failed all future victims.
The person who robbed these two children, and possibly two other children gets a slap on the wrist of county jail, 120 day in prison and a five year probation. Guess what there were five years between the allegations of the first child and the next two. Now he will have to wait five more for his next.
I am sorry, but there is no call for that. There is nothing that could have been said or done by this "predator" as he was called by the presentence investigation report in the one hundred and twenty day "SHOCK INCARCERATION" to warrant a release with probation. The only thing SHOCKING about this INCARCERATION was that is wasn't the nine years that was promised to the family.
I want to yell and scream from the roof tops to make someone take notice. However, I know in small town politics that will only cause a grudge that will be taken out on anyone that I come into contact with. Instead, I must once again separate myself farther away from the system so that I can fight for the people that most need the help. The silent voices of the children who are effected by these shocking judgements, where families and victims are promised one thing, and then something completely different is carried out.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day
Men and women serving our county
Everyday, rain or shine, holiday or not
May, celebrates those who died for their country
Or who completed their tour with honor
Remembering also, those who are separated from their families
In efforts to maintain our freedom and lifestyle
And today are currently serving this great nation
Living away from those they love.
Dads, moms, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, friends,
All made a decision to serve for you and me
Yet how often we take it for granted, instead of thanking them.
Everyday, rain or shine, holiday or not
May, celebrates those who died for their country
Or who completed their tour with honor
Remembering also, those who are separated from their families
In efforts to maintain our freedom and lifestyle
And today are currently serving this great nation
Living away from those they love.
Dads, moms, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, friends,
All made a decision to serve for you and me
Yet how often we take it for granted, instead of thanking them.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Resurrection Day Thoughts
As the day comes to a close, I am just so amazed at the true meaning of today and what today truly cost. We started the day with an Easter egg hunt for the children, then I talked with them about the death and resurrection of Christ and how it was for them. I came home and took a nap, as my traditional Sunday schedule. Then was blessed with my husband’s attendance with us to church in addition to Malachi, Tim’s brother’s son. Then we went to Pizza Hut for dinner and found out that Arkansas lost to North Carolina. Grabbed some ice cream and came home to watch Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ.
I am so moved when I watched this movie, but today saw the Crucifixion from other’s view.
I thought about what it would be like for Mary, mother of Jesus to watch her son die. I can’t imagine this and can not even begin to picture my own son in that position. Or how I would feel as a mother, knowing my son gave up his life for all that I had done wrong. I could only think, "Lord thank you that you sent your son, and that I don’t have to sacrifice my own, but that it was my Lord who paid that price. For that I am eternally grateful."
Then I thought about what it was like for Mary M. to watch Jesus suffer and die. There are so many speculations about her relationship to Christ, but it is clear that she was close to Christ and loved him. I have lost many close friends, but I thank God that I really did not have to see any of them go through what Jesus did. I could only say "Thank you Lord that I am your friend, and that you were willing to lay your life down for me."
Then I wondered about Joseph - Jesus’ earthly dad. Where was he? After Jesus was twelve and in the temple teaching, I don’t recall to much more about him. And then I praise God because I was allowed my earthly father for almost twenty-one years of my life but also know that I have a Heavenly Father who will never leave or forsake me."
I think about that high priest and the look on his face as he watched Christ being scourged and crucified. What was he thinking that day? Was it really worth the cost? As he watched it unfold did he find satisfaction or condemnation? I must thank God that he sent his son to be the high priest, to take my sins upon him and that he revealed his mercy to the world that day.
I think about those who actually beat and crucified Christ. Were they just doing their job or did they take pleasure in the torture? Did they feel different this day? I feel sorrow, as I think that it was for my sins he paid this great price.
I think about John, the beloved. He was the only one who stuck around. He was there as his friend and savior died. He was there to take care of Jesus’ mother and Mary M. to comfort them. Lord I thank you for being a friend that sticks closer than a brother, but I also ask that you send true friends like John to be in my life, and help me to be like John too.
I think about the man who carried Jesus’ cross. Did he believe Christ was the Messiah or did he feel burdened to have to help this condemned man. I thank God for the cross and the price that was paid so many years ago.
I am so moved when I watched this movie, but today saw the Crucifixion from other’s view.
I thought about what it would be like for Mary, mother of Jesus to watch her son die. I can’t imagine this and can not even begin to picture my own son in that position. Or how I would feel as a mother, knowing my son gave up his life for all that I had done wrong. I could only think, "Lord thank you that you sent your son, and that I don’t have to sacrifice my own, but that it was my Lord who paid that price. For that I am eternally grateful."
Then I thought about what it was like for Mary M. to watch Jesus suffer and die. There are so many speculations about her relationship to Christ, but it is clear that she was close to Christ and loved him. I have lost many close friends, but I thank God that I really did not have to see any of them go through what Jesus did. I could only say "Thank you Lord that I am your friend, and that you were willing to lay your life down for me."
Then I wondered about Joseph - Jesus’ earthly dad. Where was he? After Jesus was twelve and in the temple teaching, I don’t recall to much more about him. And then I praise God because I was allowed my earthly father for almost twenty-one years of my life but also know that I have a Heavenly Father who will never leave or forsake me."
I think about that high priest and the look on his face as he watched Christ being scourged and crucified. What was he thinking that day? Was it really worth the cost? As he watched it unfold did he find satisfaction or condemnation? I must thank God that he sent his son to be the high priest, to take my sins upon him and that he revealed his mercy to the world that day.
I think about those who actually beat and crucified Christ. Were they just doing their job or did they take pleasure in the torture? Did they feel different this day? I feel sorrow, as I think that it was for my sins he paid this great price.
I think about John, the beloved. He was the only one who stuck around. He was there as his friend and savior died. He was there to take care of Jesus’ mother and Mary M. to comfort them. Lord I thank you for being a friend that sticks closer than a brother, but I also ask that you send true friends like John to be in my life, and help me to be like John too.
I think about the man who carried Jesus’ cross. Did he believe Christ was the Messiah or did he feel burdened to have to help this condemned man. I thank God for the cross and the price that was paid so many years ago.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Easter Egg Thoughts
This morning we started with an Easter Egg hunt for the children at church. I know that eggs are not what Easter is really about - in fact eggs have nothing to do with it. But as I stuffed, tossed and watched the eggs be picked up by 40 excited children, I am reminded of what the egg represents. We do plastic eggs filled with candy. And while they have nothing to do with the true meaning of today they do hold some value in teaching children about the love of Christ and the true meaning of today.
1) You see we are all lost and must be found - just as the eggs must be found.
2) The eggs are whole, but must be broken to get the candy. We think we are whole, but must be broken if we are ever to allow the good things in our life to come out.
3) The eggs are hollow, just like the tomb.
4) Jesus went into the tomb, but came out. Just like the candy goes into the eggs, but has to come out to be enjoyed.
5) We are suppose to come to Jesus as little children. Have you ever seen the way children come to an Easter egg hunt! They are on a mission, passionate, excited, and ready to fight to get what they want.
6) Eggs are a sign of new life and fertility. When we come to Christ we are given a new life and have the ability to bear fruit.
7) Just like the little plastic eggs come in many shapes and sizes with one purpose - so do we. We all have different gifts and talents, we are all different shapes and sizes. Our end goal is the same - to end up in the basket going to Heaven. No one person is more important than the other it is our collectiveness that makes a true difference.
1) You see we are all lost and must be found - just as the eggs must be found.
2) The eggs are whole, but must be broken to get the candy. We think we are whole, but must be broken if we are ever to allow the good things in our life to come out.
3) The eggs are hollow, just like the tomb.
4) Jesus went into the tomb, but came out. Just like the candy goes into the eggs, but has to come out to be enjoyed.
5) We are suppose to come to Jesus as little children. Have you ever seen the way children come to an Easter egg hunt! They are on a mission, passionate, excited, and ready to fight to get what they want.
6) Eggs are a sign of new life and fertility. When we come to Christ we are given a new life and have the ability to bear fruit.
7) Just like the little plastic eggs come in many shapes and sizes with one purpose - so do we. We all have different gifts and talents, we are all different shapes and sizes. Our end goal is the same - to end up in the basket going to Heaven. No one person is more important than the other it is our collectiveness that makes a true difference.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Today I Miss You
It is been eleven years, but today I miss you.
I am feeling sentimental and tearing up too
Although I have come to realize the time was right
When God took you home leading you into the light.
At first I was angry and couldn’t understand
"Have faith and he will be healed" were the words of the preacher man
I thought I let you down when my prayers didn’t come true
But God’s will was done that day in you
You stood forgiven for all that you did
The wrongs you did when I was just a kid
You could stand before God knowing all was forgiven
Not worrying if you would once again turn to sin
But today as I go visit that plot of land
I can rest assured you are in God’s hand
So even though there are tears in my eyes
As I quietly try to hide my cries
I know that one day I will see you again
When I meet my Savior and hear the angel band.
I just didn’t know, didn't have a clue
That today I would still be missing you.
I am feeling sentimental and tearing up too
Although I have come to realize the time was right
When God took you home leading you into the light.
At first I was angry and couldn’t understand
"Have faith and he will be healed" were the words of the preacher man
I thought I let you down when my prayers didn’t come true
But God’s will was done that day in you
You stood forgiven for all that you did
The wrongs you did when I was just a kid
You could stand before God knowing all was forgiven
Not worrying if you would once again turn to sin
But today as I go visit that plot of land
I can rest assured you are in God’s hand
So even though there are tears in my eyes
As I quietly try to hide my cries
I know that one day I will see you again
When I meet my Savior and hear the angel band.
I just didn’t know, didn't have a clue
That today I would still be missing you.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Light
I have been reading a book by Christine Caine called Stop Acting Like a Christian and Just Be One. In one of the Chapters "Into All the World" she tells about her young daughter's fascination with flashlights. The little one would take the flashlight all around the house all day long while it was daylight running down the batteries. She draws a correlation to the church body and how we are to be the light of the world.
As I thought about her message, I saw a different picture. Just as her daughter liked to shine the light where things were already lit – we Christians spend so much of our time wasting our energy (The battery) where there is already light. We confine our ministry to the church instead of taking it out into the darkness of the world around us.
Don't get me wrong, there are needs within the church body that allow our light to be shown, and most of the time we spend all our time and all our energy shining the light around our church body. We are thinking that our light is so bright, but when it comes to the world around us we don't have the energy to minister.
We should just open the door and shine it outside and truly illuminate the world around us. We need to bring in the world around us, into the light and out of the darkness.
I want to be a light in the darkness. I want my light to shine at church. I want my light to shine within my family. I want my light to shine in world around me. I want to draw others into the light. Not to glorify myself, but to glorify God.
As I thought about her message, I saw a different picture. Just as her daughter liked to shine the light where things were already lit – we Christians spend so much of our time wasting our energy (The battery) where there is already light. We confine our ministry to the church instead of taking it out into the darkness of the world around us.
Don't get me wrong, there are needs within the church body that allow our light to be shown, and most of the time we spend all our time and all our energy shining the light around our church body. We are thinking that our light is so bright, but when it comes to the world around us we don't have the energy to minister.
We should just open the door and shine it outside and truly illuminate the world around us. We need to bring in the world around us, into the light and out of the darkness.
I want to be a light in the darkness. I want my light to shine at church. I want my light to shine within my family. I want my light to shine in world around me. I want to draw others into the light. Not to glorify myself, but to glorify God.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Comfort
The other day I went to the store to buy some jeans. I admit I hate jeans, I think they are uncomfortable. However, I was in need of a pair, and I was in a hurry. I get to the store and they are sized weird, so I found a sales lady who measured me and told me where to start.
I started with a seven and made my way down to a four. When I got to the five, the lady said, oh yes, I forgot to tell you, you want the pants to be skin tight, they adjust to you and will be the most comfortable things you have ever wore as you begin to move around in them. Honestly, I was thinking she was nuts and that I hate tight clothes. But I was in a hurry, I tried them on and I bought the jeans. I must say the jeans were everything the sales lady said they would be. Those jeans reminded me of our walk with God.
So many times in my life, I have asked God to deliver me from a problem, instead of giving me comfort as I go through it. In the midst of problems I will hear Him saying "Be still my child and know that I am God. I am in control, and you will make it through this." I admit that it is sometimes hard to listen to that voice over the waves crashing in around me, but when I take the time to - I always find his comfort. I am sure that if I took time to get rest in His comfort I would see it expand and grow as more of my will is submitted to God.
Like that favorite pair of jeans that you put on at the beginning of the day and they just feel so restrictive, but as you move around and start to live, they just kind of loosen up and expand into comfort. I think that is how God is.
We first have to chose to put on the things that He gives us. Just as we put on a pair of jeans, we must put on God. I can remember being so uncomfortable in jeans that I did the bear minimum I needed to do just so I wouldn't have to move around. We can take the minimum God has and live for Him, but never feel the total comfort that we can have in Him.
And just like when you first start moving around in a pair of tight jeans, it can be unpleasant. Sometimes we decide to change because we want immediate comfort. In our walk with Christ, we feel that little bit of unpleasantness as we start to move, and we become immobilized and never go any farther. Or we decide that it must not be right, so we change what we were doing even though God didn't tell us too.
But when you decide to stay in your jeans, by the end of the journey, it is as if they were taylor made and the most comfortable thing you own. So it is, if we chose to live our life, despite the circumstances surrounding us, in God's perfect will. We find a comfort that surpasses everything. We can chose to have the attitude that God will never take us where his grace can not keep us and begin to live in the comfort that is afforded to us through the sacrifice that Christ paid.
So put on God, move past the pain, and just live in His comfort!
Written Nov 8, 2008.
I started with a seven and made my way down to a four. When I got to the five, the lady said, oh yes, I forgot to tell you, you want the pants to be skin tight, they adjust to you and will be the most comfortable things you have ever wore as you begin to move around in them. Honestly, I was thinking she was nuts and that I hate tight clothes. But I was in a hurry, I tried them on and I bought the jeans. I must say the jeans were everything the sales lady said they would be. Those jeans reminded me of our walk with God.
So many times in my life, I have asked God to deliver me from a problem, instead of giving me comfort as I go through it. In the midst of problems I will hear Him saying "Be still my child and know that I am God. I am in control, and you will make it through this." I admit that it is sometimes hard to listen to that voice over the waves crashing in around me, but when I take the time to - I always find his comfort. I am sure that if I took time to get rest in His comfort I would see it expand and grow as more of my will is submitted to God.
Like that favorite pair of jeans that you put on at the beginning of the day and they just feel so restrictive, but as you move around and start to live, they just kind of loosen up and expand into comfort. I think that is how God is.
We first have to chose to put on the things that He gives us. Just as we put on a pair of jeans, we must put on God. I can remember being so uncomfortable in jeans that I did the bear minimum I needed to do just so I wouldn't have to move around. We can take the minimum God has and live for Him, but never feel the total comfort that we can have in Him.
And just like when you first start moving around in a pair of tight jeans, it can be unpleasant. Sometimes we decide to change because we want immediate comfort. In our walk with Christ, we feel that little bit of unpleasantness as we start to move, and we become immobilized and never go any farther. Or we decide that it must not be right, so we change what we were doing even though God didn't tell us too.
But when you decide to stay in your jeans, by the end of the journey, it is as if they were taylor made and the most comfortable thing you own. So it is, if we chose to live our life, despite the circumstances surrounding us, in God's perfect will. We find a comfort that surpasses everything. We can chose to have the attitude that God will never take us where his grace can not keep us and begin to live in the comfort that is afforded to us through the sacrifice that Christ paid.
So put on God, move past the pain, and just live in His comfort!
Written Nov 8, 2008.
Friday, January 4, 2008
First
Yesterday my pastor, Robert Day preached an interesting message. Genesis 1:1 the first 4 words. The first message of the new year, and very fitting. "In the beginning - God" Unfortunately I am not the best at staying focused if I am not taking notes, but God was speaking to me and reminding me of another message I heard by an evangelist named Chris Jackson. On "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God." So this is what God was speaking to me during the message and reminding me about. I think they are a combination of the two messages intertwined with my own revelations.
As the new year starts where is God in your life? Is he first? Last? Not even on the radar?
Is He first in your finances? He gave us everything we own, the first 10% belongs to Him. Are you stealing from God first thing this year or honoring Him with your obedience. He always gives back more than we can ever imagine when we are obedient, "pressed down, shaken together and running over."
Is He first in your interests? In a world so full of knowledge at our fingertips and so many things that catch our attention - is He one of them? God never said that Christians can't have fun, but are your interests in line with His? Is it easier to tell a dirty joke than it is to tell your bestie about God's love. Are the things you see, hear, do, and say things you would do in God's presence - remember He knows all, sees all, and is everywhere at all times. He is always with you for His word promises "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
Is He first in your relationships? Are your relationship Christ centered or I centered? Do you think about your long-term future when you are checking out that hottie, or just how awesome they would look by your side knowing that their reputation alone could ruin yours? Do you build your friends up, or steal their reputation by talking trash about them when they are not around? What about those people "no one likes" how do you treat them? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you - pretty great advice if you respect yourself. Of you don't then you should work on that first and God can certainly change how you view yourself - you were made in His image - remember so were all the other people too.
Is God first in your Stuff? Is it more important to get than to give? Do you think of others or just yourself? Is that new ... whatever you want this week really that important in the larger picture? Is it worth the battle, the cost - whether financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or socially? There are so many that have nothing and still are happier than the richest person. 80% of the world's wealth is held by 20% of the population - and the sad thing is no matter how much you have - you can never take it with you. It is not wrong to have nice things, but they shouldn't own you.
Is He first in your Time. There are 168 hours in a week. How many do you give to God? Is daily prayer, bible reading and devotion to much to ask? Two Sunday services and a midweek? Some day we will all stand before God and give an account for how we spend our time - what will your calendar look like?
I realize the more you put God first, the more people will expect you to be a Christian- talk like one, walk like one, dress like one - and the world is watching seeing if you have what they need. They are looking, searching for the answer - will they find God in the beginning of your life? Will they see Him when they watch you? Or will they even know that you know Him?
Remember - you were first on His mind, when He was on the Cross.
As the new year starts where is God in your life? Is he first? Last? Not even on the radar?
Is He first in your finances? He gave us everything we own, the first 10% belongs to Him. Are you stealing from God first thing this year or honoring Him with your obedience. He always gives back more than we can ever imagine when we are obedient, "pressed down, shaken together and running over."
Is He first in your interests? In a world so full of knowledge at our fingertips and so many things that catch our attention - is He one of them? God never said that Christians can't have fun, but are your interests in line with His? Is it easier to tell a dirty joke than it is to tell your bestie about God's love. Are the things you see, hear, do, and say things you would do in God's presence - remember He knows all, sees all, and is everywhere at all times. He is always with you for His word promises "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
Is He first in your relationships? Are your relationship Christ centered or I centered? Do you think about your long-term future when you are checking out that hottie, or just how awesome they would look by your side knowing that their reputation alone could ruin yours? Do you build your friends up, or steal their reputation by talking trash about them when they are not around? What about those people "no one likes" how do you treat them? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you - pretty great advice if you respect yourself. Of you don't then you should work on that first and God can certainly change how you view yourself - you were made in His image - remember so were all the other people too.
Is God first in your Stuff? Is it more important to get than to give? Do you think of others or just yourself? Is that new ... whatever you want this week really that important in the larger picture? Is it worth the battle, the cost - whether financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or socially? There are so many that have nothing and still are happier than the richest person. 80% of the world's wealth is held by 20% of the population - and the sad thing is no matter how much you have - you can never take it with you. It is not wrong to have nice things, but they shouldn't own you.
Is He first in your Time. There are 168 hours in a week. How many do you give to God? Is daily prayer, bible reading and devotion to much to ask? Two Sunday services and a midweek? Some day we will all stand before God and give an account for how we spend our time - what will your calendar look like?
I realize the more you put God first, the more people will expect you to be a Christian- talk like one, walk like one, dress like one - and the world is watching seeing if you have what they need. They are looking, searching for the answer - will they find God in the beginning of your life? Will they see Him when they watch you? Or will they even know that you know Him?
Remember - you were first on His mind, when He was on the Cross.
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